Ruth Estevez

It was at the Bronte Parsonage Museum in Haworth. I was probably about nine or ten. When I saw the tiny books that the Bronte Children made to write their stories, I went home to do the same. These little books weren’t like the school exercise books we wrote in, about ‘What did in the holidays?’ or ‘The first day of spring.’ These books were secret and I didn’t have to show them to anyone. Funny thinking about it because I hadn’t thought about the word ‘secret’ until now. The Bronte children’s books were written when they were crammed into a tiny room. I shut myself in my bedroom and cut up paper and sewed the small sheets together. I drew and put a title on the cover. And then I started writing stories. I’ve still got them in a box in my study and I still haven’t shown them to anyone!

It was when I read Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights that inspired me to want to write a full novel. I want to write a book as dark, passionate, layered and complex. I’m working on it!

This is an interesting question. Which agent, would be my first answer! Let’s start with Agent 1. And this is a cautionary tale. Agent 1 I found in The Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook. This and The Writers’ Handbook are the places to go for information about agents, publishers, awards and general information. I had my copy, though you can find them in most libraries too. I sent off to several agents and Agent 1 replied. I’d written a film script and they sounded perfect. Loved gothic and horror and they loved my script. It’s a long story, but it didn’t work out. I lost 2 years. Some people I heard lost money to this Agent. The upshot was, he was a conman. He didn’t send my work out to anyone and he ended up in prison. The good news is, although he was fobbing me off by telling me to turn my manuscript into a novel, he actually did me a favour. The editor I worked with at this company suggested another publisher. They published my first novel, Meeting Coty. However, I still wrote scripts. A television one this time, called Lifeboat. I was signed by Agent 2. A woman this time. Also from The Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook. All very nice, went for lunch, phone calls with updates. In the end, what made a difference was that she didn’t have the contacts and I’m guessing my work wasn’t good enough in a competitive television market. And I was an unknown. We parted company. Also, Agent 2 wasn’t from a literary background. She just wanted to be a Literary Agent. Taught me that anyone can call themselves an agent.

Agent 3. I was so excited. Agent 3 was a proper agent, living in London, had been in the business a long time, with crime as her main interest. She loved Jiddy Vardy, we met, talked about lots of things and struck a connection. I signed that day. Sunshine and hope in the air! She sent Jiddy to her contacts. Unfortunately, months went by and no-one took Jiddy. She decided to concentrate on her current authors saying that it was too hard with new authors in the current literary climate. I hit rock bottom. I didn’t write for at least a month or so. Then a new publisher in Manchester approached me. I knew the owner from writing circles in the city. She had faith in my writing. She worked with me editing Jiddy Vardy which I re-wrote as a Young Adult novel. It was copy edited. Then it was proof edited. It is published by ZunTold.

What I’ve learned and would pass on, is decide what you want. I thought I wanted an Agent, I still do, but I’ll be very careful now. What I really wanted was an editor I trusted. I have found that. Sunshine and hope.

To those looking for an agent, don’t take it that they are legitimate just because they are in a well-established writing book. The rules may have changed since I found agents in those books, so apologies if that is the case. But back then, these agents slipped through the net. Most importantly, I’ve learned the importance of editors. I would say are the key. And one day, I’ll maybe dip my toes in the Agency water again but for now, the right publisher with the right team seems more important and I have found that.

Reviewer and blogger, Zoe Collins said about Jiddy Vardy: 'Unlike anything I’ve read.’

This has been the most memorable comment about my writing because it struck such a chord. My Mum made practically the same comment about my first novel. Meeting Coty. I take it means about the way it was written and the way I look at the world. That means a great deal. To have written a book unlike anything someone has read before inspires to go on.

When I was five, I was given Pookie in Search of a Home by Ivy. L. Wallace. I loved it because of the illustrations. Pookie was a white rabbit with wings who lived in Bluebell Wood. The houses were toadstools and in tree trunks, beautifully drawn and coloured. Pixies and fairies and woodland creatures were the characters but little Pookie was the star. I loved their houses, cosy beds with patchwork quilts and beds in baskets and little nooks. Toadstool tables and petal curtains. I poured over their homes! I think I should have been an interior designer or an estate agent – just to look at the interior of houses!

Re-reading the story as an adult though, I was surprised what message was hidden in there that I hadn’t realised. ‘There is nothing so nice as a home!’ A road is going to be built right through Bluebell Wood and the birds, animals, elves and fairies have to evacuate. No-one wants to, but they have to leave as tractors and diggers are brought in. All these lovely little homes have to be cleared. Pookie finds a gloomy wood that they will have to set up homes in. Of course, the animals hatch a plan and all is well in the end, but it struck me how important this is. How people can be moved from their homes without a thought or consultation. I still love the illustrations and I love the story even more than I did then. I really do believe children’s books are for adults as well.

It’s funny, it’s not quite a case of juggling. Writing seeps into every part of my life! I can be walking through the park and smell some blossom or cut grass and I’ll try and work out the exact words to capture the smell. The other day, I walked home from an appointment through the local cemetery and I found I was looking at the headstones for names to use for my characters and words that would trigger a story. I’m always taking photos too, for inspiration and for Instagram! So, wherever I am, I’m always thinking about writing. It’s a part of my life, not separate. Even when I’m doing the washing up!

I suppose where I have to juggle it is with my part-time job. Many parts of the job overlap with what I have to do with marketing and connecting with people as an author, so it’s juggling doing the two and giving both a fair chance. As my job is working for a reading and writing award for young people, and it is set in The Portico Library in Manchester, it feels that writing is part of this job too, so I’m lucky, I can stay connected to the world of books every day.